Pension and Retirement Benefits for Same-Sex Surviving Spouses

Your partner worked for decades, contributed to retirement accounts, paid into pension plans — and now you need to know what you're entitled to as the surviving partner. The answer depends heavily on whether you were married, what type of retirement accounts your partner held, and whether they were a veteran.

Employer Pensions and Defined Benefit Plans

Under federal ERISA rules, if your partner had a traditional pension through a private employer and you were legally married, you are automatically entitled to a survivor annuity unless you previously signed a written waiver. This is a spousal right that exists by law — the pension plan administrator cannot override it.

For public-sector pensions (state, county, municipal), the rules vary by state and plan. Most state pension systems now recognize same-sex spouses for survivor benefits following Obergefell v. Hodges (2015). But some plans have legacy quirks — for example, survivor benefits may be calculated based on years of marriage, and couples who married shortly before death may receive reduced payouts compared to those married for decades.

If you were unmarried domestic partners, pension survivor benefits are almost never available. A few progressive public employers (certain California and New York agencies, for instance) extended domestic partner benefits, but this is the exception. Without marriage, there is no federal mandate requiring pension plans to pay a surviving partner.

401(k) and IRA Accounts

With a 401(k), married spouses are the default beneficiary under federal law — your partner would have needed your written consent to name someone else. If you were the beneficiary, you generally have spouse-specific options, including rolling the 401(k) into your own IRA or keeping it as an inherited account; distribution timing and lump-sum availability depend on the plan and current IRS rules.

For IRAs (Traditional or Roth), there is no automatic spousal beneficiary rule — it depends entirely on who your partner named on the beneficiary designation form. Check with the account custodian (Fidelity, Vanguard, Schwab, etc.) immediately. If your partner named you, the process is straightforward. If they never updated their beneficiary after a prior relationship, the funds go to whoever is listed — not to you by default.

Veteran Survivor Benefits

If your partner was a veteran, the Department of Veterans Affairs provides Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) to eligible surviving spouses when the veteran's death was service-connected or the veteran met one of VA's total-disability duration rules, such as a total rating for at least 10 continuous years before death. Eligibility also depends on VA's marriage and other requirements. The 2026 base DIC rate for a surviving spouse of a Veteran who died on or after January 1, 1993, is $1,699.36 per month, effective December 1, 2025; additional amounts may apply.

You must have been legally married to qualify. File VA Form 21P-534EZ as soon as possible. There is no absolute deadline to apply, but if VA receives a DIC claim within one year of the Veteran's death, the effective date can be the first day of the month of death; otherwise, it is generally the date VA receives the claim. If your partner served in the military before the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and you married after their service, you may still qualify if you meet VA's marriage and other eligibility requirements.

Veterans may also have Servicemembers' Group Life Insurance (SGLI) or Veterans' Group Life Insurance (VGLI). Like private life insurance, the benefit goes to whoever is listed as beneficiary on the policy, regardless of marital or relationship status.

What Unmarried Partners Can Claim

Without marriage, retirement survivor benefits are extremely limited at the federal level. One important path is through named beneficiary designations — if your partner listed you on their 401(k), IRA, or life insurance, you may be entitled to those benefits under the plan or policy regardless of marital status.

This is why the estate planning sections of bereavement guides exist. If you're reading this after your partner has already died, check every account for beneficiary designations before assuming you have no claim. HR departments, financial institutions, and insurance companies all maintain these records separately, and your partner may have named you on some accounts but not others.

The When Your Same-Sex Partner Dies toolkit includes a financial account tracker and claim worksheet to help you systematically contact each institution and document what you're owed.