Best LDS Funeral Planning Resource for Non-Member Executors

If you're a non-member executor or spouse planning a Latter-day Saint funeral, the best resource is one that does two things at once: gives you the actual Church protocols so you don't accidentally violate something sacred, and translates them into plain language so you can coordinate with the bishop, the Relief Society, and the funeral home without feeling like you're operating in a foreign country. A dedicated LDS funeral planning guide built for families — not clergy — is the most efficient way to get both.

The reason non-member executors struggle isn't a lack of information. The Church's General Handbook is freely available online. The problem is that the Handbook was written for bishops, and it assumes you already understand terms like "endowed," "Melchizedek priesthood," "Relief Society presidency," and "fast-offering funds." When you're reading it at 11 p.m. the night after someone dies, trying to figure out whether you're allowed to choose the hymns, that assumed fluency becomes a real barrier.

What Makes Non-Member Planning Different

When an active Latter-day Saint family member plans a funeral, they typically know their bishop personally, understand the ward structure, and have attended enough LDS funerals to know the flow. A non-member executor faces a fundamentally different situation:

You don't know the vocabulary. Ward, stake, endowed, garment, Elders Quorum, Relief Society — these terms appear in every conversation with Church leaders and the funeral home. Asking "what does that mean?" repeatedly while grieving is exhausting. A good resource defines these terms in context, not in a glossary you have to flip to.

You don't know which decisions are yours. In a Latter-day Saint chapel funeral, the bishop presides. He reviews and approves the program, the speaker list, and the music. But the family still proposes those elements. If you don't know the boundary, you'll either overstep (printing a program without approval) or undershoot (waiting passively for the bishop to design the entire service).

Temple clothing is unfamiliar and sacred. If the deceased was endowed, Church guidelines strongly recommend burial or cremation in ceremonial temple clothing. The dressing involves a specific three-layer sequence — the white garment, a white outer layer, and the ceremonial overlay (robe, apron, sash, cap or veil) — placed in a precise order with specific orientations. Only endowed members of the same gender may perform or verify the dressing. As a non-member, you cannot do this yourself, but you need to know what it involves so you can coordinate with the bishop and the mortuary.

The Relief Society is a resource you don't know you have. The Relief Society — the women's organization in every LDS ward — typically coordinates a post-funeral luncheon, provides meals to the family, and may supply volunteers to help dress the body. But they don't automatically appear. Someone has to contact the Relief Society president, and if you're not a member, you may not realize that person exists or that you should reach out to her.

Comparing Your Options

What to Look for in a Planning Resource

Not every LDS funeral resource is built for your situation. When evaluating options, look for these specific elements:

A chronological workflow, not a topic index. You need to know what to do on Day 1 vs. Day 2 vs. Day 3. A resource organized by topic (music, then clothing, then costs) forces you to jump around. One organized by day tells you exactly which calls to make this morning and which can wait until tomorrow.

Bishop coordination scripts. The first call to the bishop is the most anxiety-producing moment for most non-member executors. A fill-in-the-blank script — "My name is [X], I am the [relationship] and executor for [deceased]. I'd like to discuss scheduling the chapel, and I have a proposed speaker list and music selections ready for your review" — removes the guesswork entirely.

Temple clothing dressing instructions. Even though you won't perform the dressing yourself, you need to understand the process well enough to (a) coordinate timing with the mortuary, (b) confirm that the funeral home has the clothing, and (c) know who to contact if no family member can serve as the dresser. A clear step-by-step guide is essential.

A non-member etiquette handout. You are probably not the only non-member attending. If you have relatives or friends traveling who have never been inside an LDS meetinghouse, a one-page printable that covers dress code (church-appropriate, no black required), chapel etiquette (no applause, reverent tone), viewing protocol, and sacrament-meeting norms saves everyone from awkward moments.

Cost clarity. LDS funerals have a split cost structure: the Church provides the meetinghouse and clergy services free of charge, while mortuary, cemetery, and casket costs are the family's responsibility. The average cost of a traditional funeral in Utah ranges from $2,500 to over $20,000 depending on choices made, excluding cemetery fees. Knowing what the ward covers and what you pay prevents billing surprises.

Who This Is For

• Non-member executors named in the will of a Latter-day Saint family member
• Interfaith spouses planning their LDS partner's funeral
• Adult children raised outside the Church who are planning a parent's LDS funeral
• Non-LDS family members coordinating with an unfamiliar local ward from out of state
• Anyone who needs to learn LDS funeral protocols quickly without prior Church experience

Who This Is NOT For

• Active, experienced Latter-day Saints who have planned or attended several ward funerals
• Bishops or Relief Society presidents looking for administrative reference material
• People seeking theological explanations of LDS beliefs about death and the afterlife

The Core Tradeoff

Free resources exist. The General Handbook is comprehensive and authoritative. Reddit threads contain real experiences from real families. But none of them were written for you — the non-member standing in the middle of unfamiliar protocols, on a deadline, needing to coordinate with people whose organizational language you don't speak yet.

A dedicated guide costs money. The Mormon / LDS Funeral Guide is $19. What it buys you is time — the single resource you cannot get back during funeral planning. Instead of spending hours cross-referencing Handbook chapters, forum threads, and funeral home advice, you get one document with a 72-hour timeline, bishop coordination scripts, a temple clothing dressing guide, two cost breakdowns (burial and cremation), a Relief Society luncheon planner, and a non-member etiquette sheet you can text to relatives tonight.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a non-member plan an LDS funeral in an LDS chapel?

Yes. The bishop must preside over the service and approve the program, but any family member — regardless of membership status — can serve as the primary planner and coordinator. You propose the speakers, music, and program structure; the bishop reviews and approves. Your membership status does not prevent you from organizing the logistics.

Will the ward help me even though I'm not a member?

The local ward may assist with the funeral, but the level of proactive outreach varies. Some Relief Society presidents will call you within hours of the death; others wait to be contacted. Reach out to the bishop first — he connects you to the ward resources.

Do I need to handle the temple clothing myself?

No. Only endowed members of the same gender as the deceased may dress or inspect the body. If no eligible family member is available or comfortable, the bishop arranges for endowed ward members to perform the dressing. Your role is to coordinate timing with the funeral home and confirm the clothing is available.

What if I accidentally do something wrong during the service?

The bishop presides precisely to prevent this. If you submit a program element that doesn't meet chapel standards (a secular song, a video slideshow in the chapel, an open-mic tribute section), he will flag it during the approval process, not at the funeral. The review step exists as a safeguard, not a judgment.

Is there anything I'm not allowed to do as a non-member at the funeral?

You can attend every part of the service — the viewing, the chapel program, the graveside dedication, and the luncheon. The only element restricted by membership is the body dressing in temple clothing and the priesthood dedication of the grave, both of which are performed by ordained members. Everything else is open to you.