The First Year After a Domestic Violence Death: A Month-by-Month Timeline

The First 48 Hours

Everything urgent happens now. Secure the children and ask a local family-law attorney or legal aid office whether emergency custody or placement proceedings are needed; a relative's possible claim alone does not determine who can file or what order a court will issue. Designate a family spokesperson for police and media. Contact a victim advocate through the local domestic violence shelter or the prosecutor's office. Ask investigators to preserve the victim's phone and devices, and follow their instructions before accessing or copying them.

Don't attempt to enter the crime scene or clean anything. Don't speak to the perpetrator's attorney or family without your own legal counsel. Don't post anything about the case on social media.

Your only job right now is safety: the children's physical safety, the family's digital and physical security, and the preservation of evidence.

Week One

The coroner or medical examiner may still have the body. A death certificate marked "pending" may be issued; it can be enough to open estate proceedings and allow burial or cremation, while insurers may hold claims until the cause or manner of death is finalized. Ask each institution what documentation it accepts. Begin funeral planning with the understanding that security at the service is essential.

File your crime victim compensation application — it takes weeks to process, and you need the money now. Contact the victim's employer about final pay, benefits continuation, and any employer-provided life insurance.

If the victim had a will, locate it. If they didn't, familiarize yourself with your state's intestate succession rules. Either way, consult a probate attorney about invoking the Slayer Rule before the perpetrator or their family makes a claim against the estate.

Weeks Two Through Four

The funeral is over. The visitors stop coming. The shock starts to wear off and the reality of what happened starts to land.

This is when custody proceedings may continue. If you filed an emergency order, check the written order for the follow-up hearing date and required filings. Gather relevant documentation: evidence of prior abuse, the children's school and medical records, information about your caregiving role, and any evidence relevant to the children's safety.

Begin therapy — for yourself and for the children. Don't wait until things feel worse. Contact the National Child Traumatic Stress Network for a referral to a trauma-specialized child therapist.

Notify relevant institutions, such as banks, creditors, utility companies, the mortgage lender, the DMV, Social Security, and the children's school. Ask each one what document it needs; a certificate marked "pending" may be accepted for some tasks but not others.

Months Two and Three

The criminal case is developing. The detective may contact you for follow-up interviews. The victim advocate can explain what's coming — arraignment, bail hearings, and pretrial motions — and what notice or attendance rights apply to you. You can decide whether attending a hearing is manageable.

If you are authorized to make a life insurance claim, ask the insurer what documents it needs. If the perpetrator is the named beneficiary, notify the insurer in writing and ask what it needs while evaluating the Slayer Rule and the claim. If the insurer files an interpleader action, consider getting an attorney to represent the family's interests.

If the victim owned property jointly with the perpetrator, ask a probate attorney how your state's Slayer Rule and the title documents affect survivorship rights; the result can differ by state and account.

Months Three Through Six

The initial crisis mode fades into a grinding administrative marathon. Custody hearings, probate filings, insurance disputes, CVC reimbursement processing — each moves on its own timeline, and none moves fast.

Grief can intensify as the shock buffer wears off. There is no single timetable for PTSD symptoms, depression, or survivor guilt; they can emerge or intensify at different points. These symptoms are treatable — don't interpret worsening symptoms as failure.

The children may also regress during this period. School performance, sleep, or behavior may be affected. Stay in close contact with their therapist and school counselor.

If the perpetrator is eligible for bail, tell the prosecutor and victim advocate about specific safety concerns before the hearing. Victim impact statements are generally presented at sentencing after a conviction; ask the advocate what you may submit at a release hearing in your jurisdiction. Work with the prosecutor and victim advocate on safety planning.

Months Six Through Nine

If the criminal case is headed to trial, the prosecutor will begin preparing you as a potential witness. This process can be re-traumatizing — revisiting the details of the abuse and the homicide in clinical detail. Trauma therapy alongside witness preparation helps manage the psychological cost.

For estate assets, ask whether a Slayer Rule petition or other probate filing is needed. For disputed life insurance proceeds, check whether the insurer has filed an interpleader or another court action and ask the attorney handling it about the case stage.

Custody, guardianship, or termination-of-parental-rights proceedings may continue during this period, but their timing depends on the case and local court process. Prepare with the attorney or agency handling the matter.

Months Nine Through Twelve

The anniversary of the death approaches. Some people find anniversaries especially difficult, though reactions differ. If the date feels hard, plan support: schedule a therapy session if useful, arrange childcare, and lower expectations for your own functioning.

The criminal trial, if it hasn't been delayed (and delays are common), may occur during this window. Trials last days to weeks. Victim impact statements, if you choose to deliver one, are presented at sentencing after a conviction.

By month twelve, some acute administrative issues may have eased, though custody, probate, and insurance matters may still be pending. The long work of grief continues — rebuilding a daily life, supporting the children's ongoing development, and integrating this loss into your identity without letting it consume you.

What This Timeline Doesn't Show

Every family's experience diverges from any timeline. Criminal cases get delayed for years. Insurance companies stall indefinitely. Children's grief surfaces in unexpected ways at unexpected times. The perpetrator's family may escalate or withdraw unpredictably.

The After a Death from Domestic Violence toolkit maps out the deadlines, paperwork, and institutional contacts for every phase of this timeline — so you can focus on the people who need you instead of wondering what you're supposed to file next.