Headstone Symbols and Their Meanings: Religious, Cultural, and Secular Options

The symbol on a headstone communicates something about the person buried beneath it — their faith, their service, their passions, or simply that they were loved. But choosing the wrong symbol, or placing one that violates your cemetery's bylaws, can delay the permit or force a costly redesign.

Understanding what common symbols represent and what your cemetery allows saves grief-stricken families from avoidable setbacks.

Religious Symbols and Cemetery Requirements

Christian crosses are the most common headstone symbol in Western cemeteries. In denominational cemeteries, they may be required. The Orange County Catholic Cemeteries, for instance, require every monument to prominently incorporate a Christian cross of at least 1.5 inches in length. They also reserve the right to reject any inscription or design inconsistent with Catholic doctrine.

Star of David is standard in Jewish cemeteries and sections. Jewish tradition also influences what other elements appear — many observant families avoid images of the deceased and keep inscriptions simple, sometimes in Hebrew.

Islamic crescent and star appear on Muslim headstones, though some families prefer calligraphic Quranic verses instead. Islamic sections may restrict symbols or require Arabic script.

Om, Dharma wheel, and lotus symbols serve Hindu and Buddhist communities. These are less commonly restricted by cemetery bylaws, but always verify with the cemetery's written rules.

If your family includes members of different faiths, the cemetery's symbol rules may create tension. Some families resolve this by using non-denominational nature motifs on the main face and placing religious symbols on separate medallions, foot markers, or the reverse side of the stone.

Secular and Nature Symbols

Not every family wants a religious symbol, and most non-denominational cemeteries don't require one. Common secular choices include:

• Tree of life — legacy, generational connection, enduring growth
• Dove — peace and the soul's departure
• Anchor — hope, steadfastness, or a maritime connection
• Open book — a life of learning, or a teacher and scholar
• Musical notes or instruments — musicians, music lovers
• Butterfly — transformation and the passage from one state to another
• Ivy or climbing vine — fidelity, eternal attachment

These motifs work across cultural backgrounds and avoid the doctrinal disputes that religious symbols can trigger in blended families.

Military Emblems

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs maintains a list of approved emblems of belief for government-furnished headstones — currently over 70 options, including Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Wiccan, Atheist, and Humanist emblems. If you're ordering a VA-furnished marker, you select from this list on Form 40-1330.

For privately purchased headstones in veteran sections, the cemetery may have additional rules about emblem size, placement, and whether military rank or unit insignia can appear alongside faith symbols.

Symbols That Cemeteries May Reject

Cemeteries reserve the right to reject designs they consider offensive or inconsistent with the grounds' character. A notable case involved Evergreen Cemetery in Colorado Springs, where a shared headstone for two deceased brothers was ordered removed after five years because the design included images of middle fingers. The family argued the gesture was a personal, lighthearted connection between the brothers, but the cemetery deemed it offensive to other mourners.

Before commissioning any unconventional symbol, get written approval from the cemetery's review committee — not just verbal assurance from a sales representative.

Choosing Wisely Under Grief

Symbol decisions feel enormous because they're permanent. Two practical rules help:

First, get the cemetery's written bylaws before designing anything. If your section requires a cross of a certain size, or prohibits painted imagery, knowing that upfront prevents a rejection after you've already paid for a design proof.

Second, separate the legal decision (what the cemetery allows) from the emotional decision (what feels right for your family). Handle them in that order. The Headstone, Gravestone & Memorial Marker Guide walks through both — cemetery compliance first, then design meaning — so the creative choices happen within boundaries you already know are approved.