How to Handle Media and Protect Your Privacy After a Domestic Violence Death

Reporters Will Call. You Don't Have to Answer.

Within hours of a domestic violence homicide, local reporters will start looking for the family. They'll call your phone, knock on your door, message your social media, and approach relatives, neighbors, and coworkers. Some will be respectful. Others won't.

You are not required to grant an interview or answer informal media requests. If you receive a subpoena or court order, get legal advice about how to respond. A reporter's request does not determine what is best for the criminal case or your family.

The simplest and most effective boundary is a designated spokesperson. This should be one person — a trusted friend, an attorney, a victim advocate, or a family member who isn't a primary griever. Everyone else in the family directs all media inquiries to this person. No exceptions.

Writing a Press Statement

If the family wants to say something publicly, a written statement lets you choose your words and avoid an on-camera interview. It cannot control how an outlet quotes or uses the statement.

A press statement after a DV homicide should be brief — five to eight sentences maximum. Include the victim's name (if you choose to release it), the family's request for privacy, and any specific message the family wants conveyed. You do not need to describe the circumstances of the death, identify the perpetrator, or provide any details about the criminal case.

Release the statement through email. Send it to the reporters who've been calling and to the local newsroom assignment desks. Once the statement is released, the spokesperson should respond to all follow-up inquiries with: "The family has released a statement and has nothing further to add at this time."

Protecting Children from Media Exposure

Children must be completely shielded from media contact. No interviews, no photographs, no "human interest" footage. A well-meaning reporter who films a child outside the funeral home can create images that follow that child online for years.

Request that the school administration refuse media access to school grounds. If reporters approach the children directly, document the interaction and tell the victim advocate. Ask an attorney or law enforcement whether the conduct violates a law that applies where you live.

Remove or lock down the children's social media accounts. Teenagers may want to post about their parent's death online, but they may not understand that reporters monitor public posts for leads and quotes.

Stopping Harassment

If a reporter crosses a line — showing up uninvited at your home, contacting you after being told to stop, photographing your children without consent, or publishing private information — you have options:

Document everything. Save voicemails, screenshot messages, note dates and times of in-person contact.

Contact the news outlet. Write to the editor or news director, identify the contact that is unwanted, and ask that it stop.

Contact your victim advocate. They can sometimes intervene with persistent reporters through formal channels.

Ask about legal protections. A protective order is not a general way to stop news coverage. If a reporter threatens, stalks, trespasses, or engages in other conduct covered by local law, ask an attorney or law enforcement about available remedies.

Most journalists will respect a clear, firm boundary. Repeated unwanted contact may conflict with a newsroom's ethics standards, and a formal complaint can prompt the outlet to review it.

Controlling the Narrative Long-Term

News coverage may continue to appear in search results for years. The family's name, the victim's name, and details of the case may remain accessible online.

If the family has minor children, consider asking news outlets to remove their names from published articles. An outlet may agree to a request, but do not assume the law bars publication; ask an attorney about protections that apply in your state and to the specific report.

You cannot scrub the internet clean, but you can ensure that the story told publicly is the one your family chose to tell — through your press statement, through your spokesperson, and through your silence when silence serves you better.

The After a Death from Domestic Violence toolkit includes pre-drafted press statement templates, a media boundary checklist, and scripts for responding to reporters — so the spokesperson doesn't have to craft language while everyone around them is falling apart.