Mennonite Funeral Traditions — Services, Singing, and Meetinghouse Customs

Not Amish — and the Differences Matter at a Funeral

People often lump Amish and Mennonite funerals together, but the two traditions diverge in ways that will trip you up if you're attending or planning a service. Mennonite funerals center on congregational singing, may take place in a dedicated meetinghouse rather than a private home, and in more progressive conferences allow elements that would be unthinkable in an Old Order Amish setting.

The key is which Mennonite conference you're dealing with. The spectrum runs from Old Order Mennonite groups (horse-and-buggy, no electricity, separate-entrance meetinghouses) all the way to modern Mennonite Church USA congregations (full technology, professional pastors, cremation sometimes permitted). The funeral customs differ at every point on that spectrum.

Old Order Mennonite Funeral Services

Old Order Mennonite funerals are held in spartan, unadorned meetinghouses — rectangular buildings with no stained glass, no electric lights, no microphones, and no heating beyond a basement furnace. The interior is divided by a center wall roughly three feet high. Men and boys enter through one door and sit on the left. Women and girls enter through a separate door and sit on the right.

The service itself has a structure similar to an Amish funeral — scripture readings, sermons focused on salvation rather than the deceased's personal life, and extended silent prayers during which the entire congregation kneels. But one major difference stands out: the singing.

Four-Part A Cappella Harmony

Where Amish funerals limit music to slow, unison chanting (and sometimes prohibit congregational singing altogether), Mennonite funerals make vocal music a centerpiece. The entire assembly sings in structured, four-part a cappella harmony from standard hymnals — soprano, alto, tenor, bass — without any instrumental accompaniment.

This isn't improvised. Mennonite congregations practice hymn-singing every Sunday as part of regular worship. Members view that lifelong practice as preparation for moments exactly like funerals: when they have to honor the deceased with steady, clear singing even while choked with grief.

The hymn selections draw from historical songbooks — nineteenth-century collections that have been in continuous use for generations. Depending on the conference, the hymns may be sung in English, German, or a mix of both.

Modern Mennonite Variations

Progressive Mennonite congregations handle funerals quite differently:

• Venue: Church sanctuaries with electric lighting, sound systems, and climate control
• Music: May include organ or piano accompaniment alongside congregational singing
• Eulogies: Some conferences permit brief tributes or remembrances alongside the biblical sermon
• Cremation: Permissible in many modern Mennonite churches, followed by a memorial service — a practice that Old Order Mennonites strongly discourage and Amish traditionally prohibit
• Dress: Modest commercial clothing rather than plain garb, though dark, conservative colors remain expected
• Gender seating: Mixed seating is common

The post-funeral reception in conservative Mennonite churches features Faspa — a traditional light meal of zwieback (double-tiered yeast rolls), raisin bread, cold cuts, local "funeral cheese," and platz (a flat, fruit-filled cake). Butter is served, but jam is deliberately omitted to keep the meal simple and appropriate for mourning.

What Outsiders Should Expect

If you're attending a Mennonite funeral for the first time:

• Ask which conference. The customs of a Groffdale Conference Old Order Mennonite funeral and a Mennonite Church USA service have almost nothing in common beyond the Anabaptist theological lineage.
• Dress conservatively. Even at progressive services, err on the side of dark, modest clothing. At Old Order meetinghouses, women should wear long skirts and cover their elbows; men should wear plain dark suits.
• Be ready for gender-segregated seating at any Old Order service. A lay director will guide you to the correct side — follow their instructions without question.
• Don't bring instruments or request specific songs. The music is chosen by the pastor or deacon, not the family's preferences.
• Leave your phone off. Not on silent — off. At an Old Order meetinghouse, a visible phone is deeply inappropriate.

The Amish & Mennonite Funeral Guide covers the full range of Mennonite funeral practices — from Old Order meetinghouse protocols to modern church services — with checklists tailored to each conference type.