My Dad Died What Do I Do

You're here because it just happened, or it happened recently enough that you're still in shock. Take a breath. You don't need to figure everything out right now. Here's what actually matters today, what matters this week, and what can wait.

Right Now: The Next Few Hours

If the death just happened at home: Call 911. A medical professional needs to formally pronounce the death. If your parent was under hospice care, call the hospice agency instead — they'll handle the pronouncement and guide next steps.

If the death happened at a hospital or facility: The staff will handle the medical pronouncement and initial paperwork. They'll ask about organ donation wishes and funeral home preferences.

If anyone else needs care: Arrange temporary care for younger siblings, elderly relatives, or pets who depended on your parent. This takes priority over all administrative tasks.

Don't sign under pressure. If a funeral or other time-sensitive arrangement needs a signature, ask someone you trust to review the costs and terms with you first.

Today and Tomorrow

Tell close family and your parent's closest friends. You don't need to make every call yourself. Ask one person to be the phone tree coordinator — they call the next ten people, each of whom calls two more.

Secure the home. If your parent lived alone, lock up. If you can, remove portable valuables — cash, jewelry, laptops, car keys, important documents — and bring them somewhere safe. Property goes missing between a death and the formal appointment of an executor more often than you'd expect.

Call your own employer or school. Use the word "bereavement leave" in your request. Most employers offer three to five days paid. If you're a college student, email the Dean of Students — they can notify professors and help arrange incompletes.

Choose a funeral home. Check your parent's papers for a prepaid funeral plan first. If there isn't one, you're not locked into the first funeral home that comes to mind. Prices vary considerably — the FTC requires funeral homes to give you an itemized price list before you commit.

This Week

Order death certificates. The funeral home handles the actual death registration and can order certified copies. Get 10 to 20 copies — every bank, insurer, and government agency will want an original. They cost $10 to $25 each depending on the state.

Contact your parent's employer. Ask about final paychecks, accrued vacation pay, group life insurance, and retirement account beneficiary designations.

Locate the will. Check filing cabinets, home safes, safe deposit boxes, and ask if your parent had an attorney. The original document is what matters — courts typically won't accept copies.

Don't pay bills from your own money or estate funds before you understand your authority and the priority rules. Paying the wrong creditor first can create problems. Have the authorized representative triage any genuinely time-sensitive property expenses.

Things That Feel Urgent But Aren't

The phone might start ringing with creditors, subscription services, insurance companies, and relatives with opinions. Almost nothing they're calling about is actually time-sensitive.

The mortgage has grace periods and forbearance options available when a borrower dies. The house won't be foreclosed this month.

Credit card bills are estate debts, not your personal debts. You are not responsible for your parent's credit card balance unless you were a co-signer (not just an authorized user).

Subscription auto-payments will continue pulling from your parent's accounts until someone stops them. This isn't urgent — you can clean these up over the coming weeks once you have proper authority.

Relatives asking about inheritance can wait. No assets should be distributed until the executor is formally appointed, all debts are identified, and the estate is properly administered.

The One Thing You Need to Understand About Authority

For assets that require probate, the executor or administrator needs court authority before managing them. Joint accounts with survivorship, beneficiary-designated assets, and property handled through a small-estate procedure follow separate rules. No national deadline governs when a court issues letters; timing depends on the local process and whether the petition is complete or challenged.

In the meantime, focus on three things: securing property, gathering documents, and taking care of yourself and anyone who depends on you. Everything else can wait.

The Young Adult's Guide to Losing a Parent provides the full chronological roadmap — every task in order, from the first hour through estate closure — with checklists and decision frameworks designed for someone going through this for the first time.