Organising Sorry Business: What to Do in the First 48 Hours

When an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander person passes away, the first 48 hours set the tone for everything that follows. Decisions made — and mistakes avoided — in this window determine whether the family can grieve together or spend weeks untangling preventable conflicts.

The difficulty is that this window hits when grief is most acute. Knowing what needs to happen, and in what order, is the difference between organised Sorry Business and chaos that compounds the pain.

Hour 0–6: Notification and Communication Lines

The single most important action in the first hours is identifying who has the authority to receive and deliver the news. In many communities, it is deeply inappropriate for non-Indigenous clinical staff to notify the next of kin directly. The correct path runs through an Aboriginal Hospital Liaison Officer, Aboriginal Health Worker, or a respected elder who understands the kinship hierarchy.

For families in the Western Torres Strait Islands, the Mari Gedth (Spirit Hand) — typically an in-law relative — becomes the sole point of contact for all external communication. Every enquiry from friends, employers, media, or community members must go through this person. Contacting other family members directly during this period is considered deeply disrespectful.

Immediately upon notification:

• Implement name and image avoidance if required by the family's tradition. Remove or cover photos in the home, review or restrict social media accounts according to the family's direction, and inform employers, schools, and community organisations to stop using the deceased's name. Substitute terms like Kunmanara, Kwementyaye, or Kumantjayi replace the name during the mourning period
• Contact the local Aboriginal Medical Service or Land Council to notify community networks
• Lower flags to half-mast at community buildings, schools, or other local institutions where the deceased was known

Hour 6–24: Establishing the Sorry Camp

Once the immediate family has been notified through proper channels, the focus shifts to physical infrastructure. Relatives begin arriving — sometimes from hundreds of kilometres away — and they need somewhere to gather, grieve, cook, and sleep.

A Sorry Camp is typically established near the deceased's home or on designated community land. This is not a formal campground but a communal gathering space where mourners sit together, share food, and process grief collectively. In remote communities, this might involve tents, swags, and outdoor cooking. In urban settings, it might be a family member's home that becomes the central meeting point.

During this window, someone — usually a family member who is not among the primary mourners — needs to begin coordinating:

• Transport: relatives travelling from remote communities may need fuel cards, bus tickets, or flights. The NSW Aboriginal Funeral Transport Program covers public transport costs and up to 50% of fuel for NSW residents travelling more than 100km
• Food: the cultural obligation to feed all mourners begins immediately and can continue for days or weeks. Organising rosters for cooking and sourcing food donations prevents the burden falling on one household
• Accommodation: identifying who can host visitors, and whether additional short-term housing is available through community services

Hour 24–48: Funeral Planning Decisions

Once the community has been notified and mourners are assembling, the family and elders begin making the decisions that will shape the funeral. These conversations should happen through family yarning — a structured, respectful discussion process where everyone with standing in the kinship network has space to speak.

Key decisions in this window include:

• Burial or cremation and location — whether the body will be buried on Country, in a local cemetery, or cremated with ashes returned to Country
• Body preparation — who will prepare and dress the body, following gender-specific protocols where applicable
• Smoking ceremony — who holds the authority to lead it, sourcing native eucalyptus or emu bush leaves, and coordinating with the venue if a chapel or crematorium is involved
• Timeline — Sorry Business funerals often take weeks to arrange, allowing extended kin to travel. Setting realistic expectations with the funeral director early prevents pressure to rush

This is also the window to begin contacting financial assistance programs. The Central Land Council caps funeral assistance at $5,500 per application. NSWALC grants range from $1,000 to $5,000 depending on membership history, but the application must be submitted before the service and funds go directly to the funeral director.

Common Mistakes in the First 48 Hours

Three errors come up repeatedly and are almost always preventable:

1. Bypassing kinship authority: making funeral decisions without consulting the right elders or family members can create fractures that last years. Even under time pressure, wait for the proper consultations
2. Posting on social media: sharing news, photos, or the deceased's name on social media before the family has given explicit permission can cause profound spiritual and cultural distress
3. Accepting the first funeral director's quote: mainstream funeral homes may not understand the extended timeline, community catering requirements, or ceremonial needs. Ask whether they have experience with First Nations services before signing anything

The Aboriginal Sorry Business Guide walks through each of these steps with planning worksheets, communication scripts for approaching elders, and a grant application checklist — so you can organise what needs organising and stay present for the grieving that needs your attention most.