What to Wear to an Amish Funeral — Dress Code for Outsiders

The Guiding Principle: Don't Draw Attention to Yourself

At a plain-community funeral, your clothing communicates something specific. It tells the grieving family and the congregation whether you respect their commitment to humility and simplicity — or whether you've walked in from a world they've deliberately separated from.

The dress code isn't written down anywhere. But the expectations are firm, and getting them wrong creates a visible disruption in a service designed around quiet reverence.

What Men Should Wear

• Dark suit — black, charcoal, or very dark navy. A sport coat with dark dress pants also works.
• Plain white dress shirt — no patterns, no bold colors
• Dark, conservative tie — solid color, no novelty prints. Some conservative districts consider ties worldly; if unsure, skip the tie entirely.
• Dark dress shoes — polished but simple. No sneakers, no sandals.
• No visible jewelry — remove watches, rings (wedding bands are sometimes acceptable), cufflinks, and tie pins. The Amish reject personal adornment as a form of pride.

What Women Should Wear

• Long, dark dress or skirt — must fall well below the knees, ideally to mid-calf or longer
• Sleeves covering the elbows — no sleeveless tops, no cap sleeves, no bare shoulders
• High, modest neckline — nothing low-cut or revealing
• Dark, solid colors — black is safest, but very dark navy, charcoal, or dark brown are acceptable. No bright colors, no patterns.
• Flat or low-heeled shoes — the service may be in a barn, workshop, or unpaved cemetery
• No makeup, no perfume — the community views cosmetics as a form of worldly vanity
• No jewelry — no earrings, necklaces, bracelets, or decorative hair accessories
• Head covering — not required for outsiders at most Amish funerals, but at an Old Order Mennonite meetinghouse, a simple dark scarf or hat may be appreciated as a sign of respect

What Not to Bring

The dress code extends beyond clothing:

• No cameras or phones. The Amish prohibition on photography is absolute — taking a photo of an Amish person violates the Second Commandment against graven images. Don't bring a camera. Power off your phone completely (not silent — off) and keep it in your car or bag.
• No bright accessories. A red scarf, a designer handbag, or a patterned umbrella will stand out in a sea of black and dark blue.
• No flowers. Don't carry a bouquet or wear a corsage. Floral displays conflict with the plain testimony against worldly decoration.
• No sunglasses worn indoors. If you need them for the outdoor procession or cemetery, remove them before entering the service.

How Amish and Mennonite Mourning Dress Differs

Community members follow their own mourning dress conventions:

Amish women wear solid black dresses, black capes, and black aprons to all public events and church services for months following a death. The duration depends on the relationship — widows wear black for a full year; daughters and sisters for six months to a year.

Amish men don't change their clothing. Their standard Sunday attire — white shirt, black collarless suit — is already appropriate for solemn occasions.

Mennonite women in conservative conferences wear dark, conservative clothing similar to the Amish standard. Modern Mennonite congregations may follow mainstream mourning conventions.

As an outsider, you're not expected to follow community mourning conventions. You're expected to dress as conservatively as you can, stay quiet, and avoid anything that calls attention to yourself.

When in Doubt

If you can't reach anyone in the community to ask about specific expectations, err on the side of more conservative. A dark, plain outfit with no jewelry and no electronics is a conservative default for an Anabaptist funeral service, whether Old Order Amish, Swartzentruber, or modern Mennonite; follow the local congregation's instructions.

The Amish & Mennonite Funeral Guide includes a printable attendee etiquette card with dress code, behavioral guidelines, and the district-specific questions to ask the family or deacon before the service.