Chinese Funeral Mistakes to Avoid: Common Errors That Offend or Bring Bad Luck

Chinese funeral customs carry spiritual consequences. In traditional belief, mistakes during the funeral don't just cause social embarrassment — they can trap the deceased's soul, bring misfortune upon the family, or disrupt the cosmic balance between the living and the dead. That's the weight behind the rules, and it's why family elders react so strongly when something is done wrong.

Here are the most common errors, organized by when they happen and what's actually at stake.

Mistakes in Body Preparation

Dressing the deceased in red. Red is the color of celebration, luck, and marriage. Dressing a corpse in red is believed to transform the spirit into a restless, vengeful ghost (li gui). The only exception: elders who lived past 80 or 90 may have red accents as part of a "joyous funeral" (xi sang), which celebrates their long life. For everyone else, the burial garments (shouyi) should be dark or white with no red elements.

Leaving metal on the burial clothing. Zippers, metal buttons, buckles, and belt hardware must be removed or replaced with fabric alternatives. Metal is believed to interfere with the soul's transition and cause suffering in the underworld. Similarly, pockets should be sewn shut or absent — open pockets symbolically drain the descendants' wealth into the grave.

Incorrect lapel direction. Traditional burial robes use zuoren — the right lapel folds over the left, the reverse of the living person's arrangement (youren). Getting this backward effectively dresses the deceased as a living person, which confuses the soul about its own state of transition. If you're not using traditional shouyi, this doesn't apply to modern suits or dresses.

Mistakes at the Wake and Altar

Positioning the casket with the head facing outward. The deceased's head must face inward toward the home or building — not toward the door. Head facing the exit symbolizes the soul being expelled from the family rather than returning to it.

Failing to cover mirrors. All mirrors in the wake space must be covered with red paper or white cloth. Seeing the reflection of a coffin in a mirror is believed to bring sudden death or deep misfortune to another family member. Covering deity statues (with red paper) is equally important — it shields them from the polluting energy of death.

Wrong gong placement. A gong is placed beside the door to announce the death. It goes on the left side if the deceased was male, the right if female. Placing it on the wrong side misidentifies the deceased's gender to visitors and spirits.

Treating quantities as universal. Food and fruit offerings should follow the family's dialect-specific practice and the guidance of its elders or clergy. The odd-number rule supported here applies to condolence money — examples include $51, $101, or $151 — rather than universally to every offering.

Pears on the altar. Some families avoid pears because the word for "pear" (li, 梨) sounds like "separation" (li, 离). Offerings vary by dialect and family, so ask the elders or clergy rather than treating this as a universal rule.

Mistakes During the Funeral Service

Watching the coffin being sealed. When the coffin lid is nailed shut, everyone in the room must physically turn away. Watching the sealing risks having your own spirit accidentally trapped inside with the deceased, which is believed to cause spiritual illness, misfortune, or untimely death. This is one of the most strictly observed taboos — even family members who don't follow other traditional customs usually observe this one.

Taking photographs of the casket. Photography at the wake and especially of the open casket is considered deeply disrespectful. Beyond the social dimension, photographs are believed to be able to capture or disturb the soul during its vulnerable transition period.

Wearing red to the wake. This applies to guests as well as family. Even small red elements — a red tie, red-soled shoes, a red phone case left visible — can be noticed and silently judged. Stick to black, dark grey, navy, or white.

Mistakes in the Procession

Not alerting the soul when crossing water. When the hearse or procession crosses a bridge or passes over a body of water, family members are expected to verbally announce the crossing — calling out to the deceased's soul so it follows the body rather than getting lost or left behind at the water. This is easy to forget in modern motorized processions, but traditional families consider it essential.

Ignoring the planned procession protocol. The journey from the wake to the crematorium or cemetery is highly structured. Follow the route and instructions arranged by the funeral director and family rather than adding unplanned detours or changes.

Mistakes After the Funeral

Neglecting the seventh-day observances. The 49-day mourning cycle includes prayers and food offerings every seventh day. The first (tou qi) is especially significant; historically, married daughters were associated with the fifth (wu qi) cycle, while modern families often share the weekly duties. Agree the schedule with the family or clergy so no observance is missed.

Improper altar height. The home altar for the ancestor tablet must sit at or above the primary practitioner's standing shoulder height, so they look slightly upward at the tablet. Looking down at the ancestor tablet implies disrespect. This is measured using the Wen Gong ruler, and the exact height should fall within an auspicious interval. For more on altar setup, see altar setup and ancestor tablet placement.

Cutting hair during mourning. Direct descendants traditionally refrain from cutting their hair or shaving during the 49-to-100-day mourning period. This neglect of grooming is a physical expression of grief. Breaking the taboo is considered a sign that the mourner has abandoned their sorrow prematurely — a subtle but real social judgment.

Ignoring the 100-day milestone. The 100th day after death marks the conclusion of formal, daily mourning for most family members. Families may observe additional restrictions after that point, so ask the elders before planning a wedding or other major celebration.

Most of these mistakes are avoidable with advance knowledge — which is exactly what families lack when they're organizing a funeral under time pressure. The Traditional Chinese Funeral & Ancestor Veneration guide walks through every stage from body preparation through the 49-day mourning cycle, with specific warnings at each point where common errors occur.