Common Funeral Planning Mistakes

Funeral planning mistakes are almost always avoidable. They happen because families are grieving, under time pressure, and navigating a process they have never done before. Here are the ones that come up most often in evangelical funerals — and the fix for each.

Finalizing Dates Before Calling the Church

The most common scheduling mistake: the family picks a day with the funeral home and then calls the church to book the sanctuary. If the pastor is unavailable, the sanctuary is reserved for another event, or the day falls on a Sunday or major holy day, the plan collapses.

Fix: Call the church office first, within hours of the death. Lock down the pastor's availability and the sanctuary calendar before confirming anything with the funeral home.

Assuming the Pastor's Fee Is Covered

Many families assume the funeral home's bill includes the pastor's honorarium. It does not. The pastor's fee is separate — typically $100 to $300 for the service, plus $50 to $200 for a graveside committal. Organists and soloists expect their own honoraria as well.

Fix: Ask the church office about customary honorariums during the planning meeting. Prepare checks or cash in sealed envelopes, labeled by name, and have a family member deliver them before the service.

Playing Unapproved Music

Families often request secular songs — a favorite country song, a pop ballad — without realizing that most evangelical churches strictly prohibit secular music inside the sanctuary. The theological position is clear: the funeral is a worship service, and the sanctuary is sacred space.

Fix: Review the church's music policy before selecting songs. If the family wants secular music, play it at the visitation (often at the funeral home) or at the post-funeral reception — not during the service.

Too Many Speakers, No Time Limits

Open-mic eulogies derail services. Speakers go over time, share inappropriate stories, or break down mid-tribute. A 60-minute service stretches to two hours, and the graveside party, the cemetery crew, and the fellowship hall volunteers are all left waiting.

Fix: Limit tributes to two to four people, two to three minutes each, with pre-written remarks reviewed by the pastor. This is standard policy in most Baptist and evangelical churches — it is not cold, it is respectful of everyone's time and emotions.

Ignoring the FTC Funeral Rule

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule requires a funeral home to provide a General Price List when you ask in person about funeral goods, services, or prices. By phone, it must provide accurate price information but need not send a GPL. You have the right to buy only the services you want — you are not required to purchase a package, and you are not required to buy a casket from the funeral home.

Fix: Ask for the General Price List at the start of your first meeting with the funeral director. Compare line items. You do not need to accept the first package presented.

Skipping the Visitation

Some families, especially younger ones, skip the visitation because it feels redundant or uncomfortable. In evangelical communities, the visitation is not a formality — it is where the broader church and neighborhood shows up. Skipping it can leave community members feeling shut out and the family without a crucial layer of support.

Fix: If a multi-hour visitation feels like too much, hold a one-hour viewing immediately before the funeral service. Most churches accommodate this easily.

Not Designating a Family Spokesperson

When multiple family members give conflicting instructions to the funeral home and the church office, everything stalls. The funeral director waits for clarity, the pastor gets contradictory requests, and decisions that should take minutes stretch into days.

Fix: Choose one person — ideally someone who can function under pressure and is not the primary griever — to serve as the single point of contact for the church and the funeral home.

For a complete checklist that prevents every one of these mistakes, see our Evangelical Funeral Guide.