Support Groups for Domestic Violence Homicide Survivors

Why General Grief Groups Don't Fit

Standard bereavement support groups are designed for people who've lost someone to illness, accident, or age. When you walk in and say "my sister was murdered by her husband," the room shifts. The other members don't know what to do with that. Their losses are real, but the dynamics are fundamentally different.

DV homicide grief includes elements that general groups rarely address: the stigma of the violence, the victim-blaming from outsiders, the ongoing criminal prosecution, the custody battle, the media coverage, and the impossible loyalty conflicts involving the children. You need a space where none of that requires explanation.

Homicide-specific and DV-specific groups exist precisely for this reason. The people in these groups understand the rage, the guilt, the bureaucratic nightmare, and the particular loneliness of grieving someone whose death is also a news story.

National Organizations

Parents of Murdered Children (POMC) operates chapters across the United States and offers ongoing support to survivors of homicide victims, not only parents. Contact a chapter for its current group format and schedule.

VictimConnect Resource Center, operated by the National Center for Victims of Crime, offers information and referrals for crime victims. Call or text 855-484-2846 and ask for homicide-specific support near you.

Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse (AAFDA) is the primary organization for families of DV homicide victims in the UK. AAFDA provides casework support, helps families navigate Domestic Homicide Reviews, and connects survivors with peer support networks. If you're in England or Wales, this is the most important call you can make.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) can connect you with local DV-specific support services, including support groups for surviving family members. Their services are available 24/7 by phone, text, or online chat.

Homicide Survivors, Inc. is based in Tucson, Arizona, and offers support groups, including virtual groups. Check its current schedule and eligibility.

Online and Virtual Groups

Geography and safety concerns can make in-person meetings impractical. Several options exist online:

The Compassionate Friends offers online communities for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings, as well as a resource for homicide loss. Some local chapters hold virtual meetings; check the current chapter schedule.

GriefShare is a faith-based support program with both in-person and online groups. While not specifically DV-focused, some chapters address violent loss.

Facebook and Reddit communities — search for "homicide survivor support" or "domestic violence loss" — provide informal, always-available peer connection. These aren't clinical groups, but for 2 AM when you can't sleep and need someone who understands, they serve a real purpose.

Be cautious with social media groups about sharing identifying details of your case, particularly if the criminal prosecution is ongoing. Your posts could potentially be subpoenaed.

Murder-Suicide Specific Support

When the perpetrator kills themselves after the homicide, the surviving family faces a unique grief dynamic. There's no criminal trial — no opportunity for a public accounting of what happened. The perpetrator's family may frame the event as a "family tragedy" rather than a murder followed by a suicide, which erases the violence.

American Association of Suicidology (AAS) maintains a directory of suicide loss support groups. While these groups focus on suicide bereavement, they can be relevant for the portion of your grief connected to the perpetrator's death, particularly if you had a complicated relationship with them (in-laws, for example).

The combination of homicide and suicide loss is uncommon enough that dedicated groups are rare. If you can't find one locally, POMC chapters and AAFDA are the most likely to connect you with other murder-suicide survivors.

When to Start

There's no required waiting period to join a support group. In the earliest days, individual crisis counseling from a victim advocate or trauma therapist may also help; choose the kind of support that feels manageable to you.

That said, if you find yourself isolated and unable to talk to anyone about what happened, a support group can be a lifeline at any point. The decision to go doesn't require readiness — it just requires showing up.

The After a Death from Domestic Violence toolkit includes a comprehensive resource directory organized by support type, geography, and family role — so you can find the right group without hours of web searching.