Planning a Jewish Funeral

The First Hours After a Death

Jewish funerals typically happen within two to three days. That compressed timeline means the planning starts immediately and several things need to happen almost simultaneously.

Get the death pronounced. If the death occurred in a hospital or under hospice care, the attending physician or nurse handles this. For a death at home without hospice, call 911 — a medical examiner or responding officer must provide clearance before anyone moves the body.

Call your synagogue. If the deceased belonged to a congregation, contact the temple office or the rabbi's emergency line. Synagogue staff coordinate clergy availability, schedule the service, and can recommend funeral homes experienced with Jewish burials. Even families who are not affiliated should reach out — many Reform rabbis will officiate for unaffiliated families in their area.

Choose a funeral home. Jewish funeral homes understand traditional requirements: avoiding embalming where permitted, plain wood caskets for earth burial, rapid scheduling, and coordination with the chevra kadisha (sacred burial society) if the family wants tahara (ritual washing). National chains can handle Jewish funerals, but a specialist reduces the chance of miscommunication about casket materials, timeline expectations, or body preparation.

Documents You Need to Gather

Before the funeral home can proceed, someone needs to locate:

• Social Security number of the deceased
• Hebrew names of the deceased and their parents (needed for the grave marker and liturgy — ask the rabbi if you do not know them)
• Cemetery plot deed or pre-purchase contract (if a plot was bought in advance)
• Veteran's discharge papers (DD-214) for military honors and a complimentary flag
• Advance healthcare directive to confirm who has legal authority over disposition decisions

If you cannot find these documents in the first few hours, the funeral home can still begin arrangements — but locating them sooner prevents delays with death certificates and burial permits.

Key Decisions

Most of the planning stress comes from a handful of decisions that need to be made quickly.

Burial or cremation. Traditional and Conservative practice requires earth burial. Reform Judaism permits cremation. If the deceased did not express a preference, the family decides — and disagreements between traditional and progressive relatives are common. Your rabbi can mediate.

Service location. Options include the synagogue sanctuary, a funeral home chapel, or directly at the graveside. Graveside-only services are simpler and shorter; sanctuary services allow more space for a larger gathering and may include music.

Who speaks. The rabbi or other officiating clergy may deliver the primary eulogy (hesped), but family members and close friends may also speak. In Reform services, non-Jewish relatives can participate as eulogists, readers, or pallbearers.

Music. Traditional funerals prohibit instrumental music. Reform funerals may include a cantor with accompaniment, recorded music, or live instrumentals. Discuss options with your rabbi.

Tahara and shmirah. Tahara (ritual washing) and shmirah (guarding the body) are traditional practices performed by the chevra kadisha. Reform families may request these services but are not required to. Ask your funeral director if the local Jewish community has an active chevra kadisha.

The Day of the Funeral

The sequence of a typical Reform service:

1. Keriah — the mourner's ribbon-tearing ceremony, performed just before the service begins
2. Opening psalms — usually Psalms 23 and 90
3. Eulogy — rabbi, family members, or friends
4. El Maleh Rachamim — the memorial prayer chanted in Hebrew
5. Burial — attendees shovel earth onto the casket, a mitzvah called chesed shel emet
6. Mourner's Kaddish — recited for the first time at the graveside after burial
7. Community comfort — mourners walk between two lines of attendees who offer the traditional words of comfort

After the burial, everyone washes their hands at a station outside the home before entering. The shiva period begins.

What Comes After

Shiva (the initial mourning period), shloshim (the first 30 days), and the eleven-month Kaddish period for parents all have their own customs and expectations. The planning does not end at the graveside — it transitions into a structured framework for grief that unfolds over the following year.

Our Jewish Reform Funeral & Mourning Guide covers the entire arc from death to the unveiling ceremony, with ready-to-use checklists for each phase, vendor questionnaires for funeral homes and cemeteries, and transliterated prayer texts for families doing this for the first time.