What to Wear to a Jewish Funeral: Dress Code and Head Coverings

The General Rule: Conservative, Modest, Dark

A Jewish funeral calls for the same general approach as most Western funeral dress codes, with a few specific additions. Wear dark, muted colors — black, navy, charcoal gray, or dark brown. The clothing should be modest and understated. This is a somber occasion focused on honoring the deceased, not on personal style.

For men: A suit or dress pants with a button-down shirt and jacket. A tie is standard at Conservative services. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, and anything that draws attention.

For women: A modest dress, skirt reaching below the knee, or professional pantsuit. Shoulders should be covered — a cardigan or blazer over a sleeveless top works. Avoid short hemlines, low necklines, and anything flashy.

For everyone: Closed-toe shoes are appropriate. At the cemetery, the ground may be uneven, so choose shoes you can walk in comfortably.

The Kippah: Yes, You Should Wear One

At a Conservative Jewish funeral, all men — Jewish and non-Jewish — are expected to cover their heads with a kippah (also called a yarmulke). This is a sign of reverence before God, not a statement of personal belief. Don't worry about making a religious commitment by putting one on — wearing a kippah at a funeral is simply the respectful thing to do.

Kippot (plural of kippah) are almost always provided at the entrance to the funeral home or synagogue. You'll see a basket or box near the door. Take one, place it on the crown of your head, and return it after the service.

If you have long or fine hair and the kippah won't stay put, a bobby pin or hair clip works. Some funeral homes provide clips as well.

Can a non-Jew wear a kippah? Absolutely. It's expected, not presumptuous. Refusing to wear one in a synagogue or at a Jewish funeral can be perceived as disrespectful — the opposite of the intention most people have.

Women's head covering customs vary. In some Conservative congregations, women also wear kippot. In others, married women may choose a scarf, hat, or lace headpiece. If you're unsure, observe what other women at the service are doing and follow their lead.

What Not to Wear

A few things to avoid:

• Bright or flashy clothing — reds, whites, pastels, metallics. These read as celebratory.
• Casual wear — jeans, sneakers, t-shirts, shorts. Even "smart casual" is too informal for a funeral service.
• Excessive jewelry or perfume — the emphasis is on simplicity and humility.
• Leather shoes (mourners only) — this restriction applies specifically to the primary mourners during shiva, not to attendees. As a guest, your regular dress shoes are fine.

At the Cemetery

If the service includes a graveside burial — which is standard in Conservative practice — be aware that you'll be standing outdoors, possibly on grass or gravel. Women in heels may want to bring a pair of flats for the walk from the road to the gravesite.

You'll also be invited to participate in filling the grave by shoveling earth onto the casket. This is one of the most meaningful parts of a Jewish funeral. Don't worry about your outfit getting dusty — it's expected, and nobody will judge you for a little soil on your shoes.

If You're Attending a Shiva Visit

The dress code for visiting a shiva home is less formal than the funeral itself. Business casual is appropriate — no need for a suit, but keep it respectful. Kippah-wearing customs at the shiva house depend on the family's observance level. If you see others wearing them, follow suit; if not, you can skip it.

For complete guidance on navigating a Conservative Jewish funeral — from the service through shiva and beyond — the Jewish Conservative Funeral and Mourning Guide covers dress codes, etiquette for non-Jewish guests, and what to expect at every stage.