What to Wear to an Ethiopian Funeral: Netela Draping and Dress Code Rules

Getting the dress code wrong at an Ethiopian Orthodox funeral does not just attract sideways glances — it signals a fundamental disrespect for the bereaved family and the sacred nature of the service. The dress expectations are specific, gendered, and symbolically loaded in ways that are easy to miss if nobody explains them to you in advance.

Here is what to wear whether you are a close family member, a community member, or a non-Ethiopian guest attending for the first time.

The Netela: The Central Garment of Mourning

The netela is a lightweight, white handwoven cotton wrap with a colorful decorated border called the tibeb. It is the defining garment of Ethiopian Orthodox women's modesty, worn to church services and all formal occasions.

During ordinary services, the netela is draped over both shoulders with the decorated tibeb border folded neatly across the right shoulder, covering the head as a sign of apostolic modesty.

For funerals, this draping is reversed. The decorated tibeb border is deliberately worn upside down — pointing upward — or the embroidered ends are wrapped tightly around the lower face and mouth. This reversal symbolizes the inverted, disordered nature of death. It also serves a practical function: muffling the sounds of intense weeping during the communal lamentation.

If you are a woman attending a Tewahedo funeral and you own a netela, wearing it in the reversed mourning position is the single most important dress code rule to get right. If you do not own one, wearing a plain white headscarf or shawl over conservative dark clothing is an acceptable substitute, but asking a family member or community friend for guidance before the service is always best.

Close Family Members

Close female relatives observe the most visible mourning dress:

• White netela with reversed tibeb draping
• Black headscarf underneath (or in place of the netela in some diaspora communities)
• No cosmetics, jewelry, perfume, or colorful clothing
• Traditionally, close female relatives shave their heads — though this practice is less common in the diaspora

Close male relatives:

• Solid black clothing for the duration of the mourning period (often several weeks)
• Untrimmed, growing beard
• No display of vanity — no cologne, no flashy accessories

These outward signs communicate to the broader community that the family is in active mourning. Transitioning back to normal dress before the community considers the mourning period complete can draw serious criticism.

Community Members

Ethiopian Orthodox community members attending the funeral and Lekso typically wear:

• Women — a white netela with the reversed funeral draping, conservative clothing underneath, head covered
• Men — dark, conservative suits or traditional clothing, no bright colors

Non-Ethiopian Guests

If you are attending an Ethiopian funeral as a non-Ethiopian guest, the expectation is respectful conservatism:

• Dark, modest clothing (black, navy, dark gray)
• Women should cover their heads during the church service — a simple dark scarf is appropriate
• Closed-toe shoes
• No bright colors, no flashy jewelry, no perfume or cologne
• No flash photography anywhere in the sanctuary

During the service, stand when others stand (the liturgical service involves extended periods of standing). Do not participate in Holy Communion (Qurban), which is strictly reserved for baptized Orthodox Christians in good standing. When greeted, a gentle bow of the head is the preferred gesture of respect, especially toward elders and the grieving family.

Loud laughter, lighthearted conversation, and casual phone use are considered grave insults to the sanctity of the mourning period. Even well-intentioned attempts to lighten the mood or offer cheerful encouragement can be deeply offensive.

Gender Segregation

At both the church service and the mourning tent (Dinkuan), men and women sit on opposite sides. During the funeral procession to the cemetery, the crowd divides into separate marching columns by gender. Women do not participate in the physical burial — carrying the coffin, digging the grave, and performing the interment are restricted to men. Women gather at a respectful distance for prayers.

Non-Ethiopian guests should follow this segregation pattern without needing to be directed. Watch where others of your gender are sitting and join that section.

For a detailed visual guide to netela draping (standard vs. mourning), a complete fasting-day food checklist for guests bringing contributions, and the full etiquette protocol for non-Ethiopian attendees, our Tewahedo funeral planning toolkit covers every practical detail.