What to Wear to a Greek Orthodox Funeral and How to Behave as a Guest

If you have been invited to an Orthodox funeral and are not Orthodox yourself, the biggest anxiety is doing something wrong in front of a grieving family. The service runs differently from any Western funeral you have attended — longer, entirely sung, with an open casket and physical rituals that may be unfamiliar. Here is what to wear, how to stand, and what to do when the congregation approaches the casket.

Dress Code

Modesty is the standard, and the expectations are stricter than most Western funerals.

Men: Dark suit, collared shirt, conservative dark tie, closed-toe dress shoes with dark socks. Shorts, sandals, athletic shoes, and short-sleeved shirts are not acceptable. Remove all hats and caps before entering the church — head coverings for men are not worn inside an Orthodox church under any circumstances.

Women: Modest dark dress or dark skirt with a conservative blouse. Necklines must be high, sleeves should cover the shoulders (long or three-quarter sleeves are preferred), and skirts must be knee-length or longer. Miniskirts, tight clothing, crop tops, and spaghetti straps are not appropriate.

Head coverings for women: In traditional parishes — especially Russian Orthodox (ROCOR), Serbian, and some Greek parishes — women are expected to cover their heads with a dark scarf, veil, or shawl while inside the church. This practice is less uniformly enforced in modern Greek and Antiochian diaspora parishes, but bringing a dark scarf is a safe choice for any Orthodox funeral. You can drape it loosely over your hair when entering and remove it afterward.

Colors: Black, navy, or dark gray. Avoid bright colors, bold patterns, and visible jewelry. The mourning family will be in black, and the atmosphere is solemn throughout.

Standing Through the Service

Here is the part that surprises most first-time attendees: Orthodox funeral services last 60 to 90 minutes, and you are expected to stand for most or all of it.

Standing is the normative posture for prayer in the Eastern Orthodox Church. Pews or chairs may be present, but they are primarily for the elderly, physically infirm, and the immediate family. Able-bodied attendees remain standing throughout the service. Wear comfortable shoes — heels that you can stand in for over an hour, or flat dress shoes.

If you have a medical condition that prevents standing, sit without apology. No one will judge you for it.

The Lit Candle

When you enter the church, you will be given a small, lit beeswax candle. Hold it throughout the entire service. The candle represents Christ as the Light of the World and the hope of the resurrection. Be careful about dripping wax — hold the candle upright and slightly away from your clothing.

The Sign of the Cross

Orthodox Christians make the sign of the cross frequently during the service — from the forehead to the chest, then to the right shoulder, then to the left shoulder. This is the opposite direction from the Roman Catholic practice.

As a non-Orthodox guest, you are not expected to make the sign of the cross. You are welcome to do so in the Orthodox manner if you choose, but no one will look askance if you simply stand quietly.

The Open Casket and the Last Kiss

The open casket is central to the Orthodox funeral. The deceased lies with hands crossed over the chest, holding an icon. A paper headband (the venchik) rests on the forehead. Before the service begins and again at its conclusion, mourners file past the casket.

For Orthodox mourners: The "Last Kiss" involves approaching the casket and kissing either the icon in the deceased's hands, the hand-cross nearby, or the venchik on the forehead. This is an act of veneration and farewell, not a kiss on the body.

For non-Orthodox guests: You are not expected to kiss anything. When you reach the casket, pause for a moment, bow your head respectfully, say a silent prayer or farewell, and then move on. You may also bow to the grieving family before returning to your place.

Do not feel rushed or pressured. The line moves slowly, and everyone understands that this is a deeply personal moment.

What Not to Do

No photography or video. Taking photos or recording inside the Orthodox church during a funeral service is strictly prohibited.

No applause. Clapping is inappropriate at every stage — the wake, the funeral service, and the graveside.

No personal eulogies in the church. Only the priest speaks during the funeral liturgy. Personal tributes, memories, and secular eulogies are shared at the mercy meal (the makaria) after the burial, not in the sanctuary.

Do not receive Communion. If a Divine Liturgy is celebrated as part of the funeral, Holy Communion is offered — but only to baptized, chrismated Orthodox Christians who have prepared through fasting and recent Confession. Non-Orthodox guests remain in their places during Communion.

What to Say to the Family

Avoid generic secular condolences. The most appropriate phrases are:

• "May their memory be eternal" (the universal Orthodox condolence)
• "Aionia i mnimi" for Greek families
• "Vechnaya pamyat" for Russian or Slavic families
• "May God grant them rest among the saints"

Avoid "they're in a better place" or "everything happens for a reason" — Orthodox theology has a specific framework for the soul's journey after death, and vague reassurances can feel dismissive to families who take that framework seriously.

For a complete guide covering guest etiquette sheets, dress code specifics by jurisdiction, and the full service structure explained in plain language, the Eastern Orthodox Funeral Guide provides everything non-Orthodox attendees and planning families need.