Yahrzeit Candle: When to Light It and What the Tradition Means

The Short Answer: Sunset on the Eve Before the Hebrew Date

A yahrzeit candle is lit at sunset on the evening before the Hebrew anniversary of a loved one's death. Because the Jewish calendar counts days from sundown to sundown, the yahrzeit actually begins the night before the corresponding date on the secular calendar. If your mother's Hebrew date of passing falls on 15 Kislev, you light the candle at sunset on 14 Kislev — which might correspond to a Tuesday evening in November one year and a Wednesday evening in December the next, since the Hebrew and Gregorian calendars don't align neatly.

The candle should burn for a full 24 hours. Standard yahrzeit candles sold at most grocery stores and Judaica shops are specifically designed for this duration. You don't need to attend to it or stay awake — just place it on a heat-safe surface and let it burn down on its own.

Calculating the Hebrew Date

Yahrzeit follows the Hebrew date of death, not the burial date, including the first anniversary. If the burial was delayed or the date is uncertain, ask the rabbi how to handle the observance.

Hebrew date conversion can be confusing. Most synagogues will help you determine the correct date, and online Hebrew date converters make it straightforward. Many congregations also maintain a yahrzeit list and will send you a reminder before the anniversary each year.

One complication: leap years in the Hebrew calendar add an entire extra month (Adar I), which can shift the secular date of your yahrzeit by several weeks compared to the previous year. This is why relying solely on the English calendar date doesn't work.

What Happens on Yahrzeit Day

The candle is the visible centerpiece, but yahrzeit traditionally involves several practices:

• Attending synagogue services to recite the Mourner's Kaddish with a minyan (a quorum of ten Jewish adults). Many mourners attend both the evening and morning service.
• Receiving a Torah aliyah on the Shabbat closest to the yahrzeit, an honor where the mourner is called up to recite blessings over the Torah reading.
• Giving tzedakah (charitable donations) in memory of the deceased — often to causes they cared about or to the synagogue's general fund.
• Visiting the grave, though this isn't required. Some families make the cemetery visit on the yahrzeit, while others go before the High Holidays.

There are no formal restrictions on daily activities during yahrzeit. You go to work, handle your responsibilities, and live your day — but with an intentional thread of memory running through it.

Yahrzeit vs. Yizkor: Two Different Observances

People sometimes confuse yahrzeit with Yizkor, since both involve remembering the dead. Yahrzeit is personal — it's your specific annual date, observed with a candle and Kaddish in a minyan. Yizkor is communal — a memorial service recited in synagogue four times a year (Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, the last day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot). You can and should observe both, but they serve different functions.

Choosing the Right Candle

Any 24-hour memorial candle works. The traditional option is a white wax candle in a small glass cup, available at most supermarkets for a few dollars. Some families prefer beeswax candles or electric memorial lights, which are acceptable alternatives in Conservative practice. What matters is the intent and the duration, not the material.

Place the candle somewhere safe and visible — a kitchen counter or mantelpiece works well. Some families light it near a photograph of the deceased.

When Yahrzeit Falls on Shabbat or a Holiday

If yahrzeit falls on Shabbat, you still light the yahrzeit candle — but you need to light it before the Shabbat candles on Friday evening, since striking a match after Shabbat begins is prohibited. The yahrzeit candle continues burning through Shabbat into Saturday evening.

If yahrzeit coincides with a Jewish holiday, the same rule applies: light before the onset of the holiday. The Mourner's Kaddish is still recited during holiday services.

A Tradition That Grows in Meaning

Many people describe their first yahrzeit as surprisingly difficult — the calendar date reactivates grief that had started to quiet. By contrast, later yahrzeits often become genuinely comforting. The annual rhythm of lighting a candle, saying Kaddish, and spending a few intentional minutes with memory becomes one of Judaism's most emotionally resonant practices.

If you're navigating Conservative Jewish mourning practices for the first time, our complete mourning guide walks you through every stage from the first hours after a death through the annual yahrzeit cycle, with checklists and timelines you can share with family.