Common Mistakes When Planning an LDS Funeral

Mistakes That Cause Real Problems

Most LDS funeral planning mistakes are not dramatic — they are quiet errors that surface at the worst possible moment, when programs are already printed, family is already in town, or the funeral director has already made arrangements that conflict with Church policy. The compressed timeline (typically three to seven days) leaves almost no margin for recovery.

Here are the most common ones, drawn from what the General Handbook actually says versus what families assume.

Scheduling the Service on a Sunday

Sunday is reserved for regular worship and the administration of the sacrament. The General Handbook strictly prohibits funeral services on Sundays. This catches families off guard when a death occurs mid-week and Sunday seems like the most convenient day for out-of-town relatives to attend.

The fix is simple: confirm the meetinghouse schedule with the bishop or building coordinator within the first 24 hours. Saturday is the most common funeral day, followed by weekday mornings. If the bishop's own schedule conflicts, a counselor in the bishopric can conduct the service under the bishop's direction.

Planning a Video Slideshow for the Chapel

Family photo slideshows set to the deceased's favorite music are a staple of secular memorials — and they are prohibited inside the LDS chapel. No screens, projectors, or electronic displays are allowed in the chapel itself. This rule consistently surprises families who have already spent hours putting together a tribute video.

The slideshow is not wasted. It belongs in the cultural hall (the gymnasium or multipurpose room in the same building), where it can play during the viewing, during the post-funeral luncheon, or both. Move the slideshow to the cultural hall plan early and save yourself the disappointment of being told no on the day of the service.

Selecting Unauthorized Music

Inside the chapel, all musical selections must be reverent, Christ-centered, and appropriate for Sunday worship. Pop songs, secular ballads, rock, jazz, and theatrical performances are strictly forbidden. The primary instruments permitted are the organ and the piano, with occasional approved acoustic strings or woodwinds.

The bishop must approve every musical number before the program is printed. If the deceased's favorite song was "Amazing Grace" performed as a simple piano arrangement, that likely passes. If it was a Frank Sinatra recording played through speakers, it does not.

Again, the cultural hall is the release valve. Secular music can play freely in the multipurpose spaces of the building. Plan your music list early and sort each song into the right venue.

Assuming the Family Controls the Entire Service

When a funeral is held in an LDS chapel, it is officially a Church meeting. The bishop presides and holds final approval over the program, the speakers, and the musical selections. This is not a power grab — it is the standard operating structure for every meeting held in the building, from Sunday services to funerals.

Families who arrive at the planning meeting expecting full creative control sometimes clash with bishops who enforce the handbook strictly. The key is communication: meet with the bishop early, present your vision clearly, and ask where flexibility exists. Most bishops are willing to accommodate reasonable family requests within the guidelines.

If a member of the stake presidency, an Area Seventy, or a General Authority is present, they outrank the bishop and must be recognized and consulted.

Allowing or Expecting an Open Mic

There is a strict prohibition against open mic formats at LDS chapel funerals. Every speaker must be pre-arranged and listed in the printed program. Families who plan an "anyone who wants to share a memory" segment for the chapel service will be told no by the bishop — and if it is not caught until the day of, the resulting tension is painful for everyone.

The workaround: announce that open tributes are welcome during the luncheon in the cultural hall, or host a separate celebration of life gathering.

Not Verifying the Deceased's Endowment Status

Temple dressing protocols depend entirely on whether the deceased was an endowed member. If you do not verify this with the ward clerk early, you risk either purchasing temple burial clothing unnecessarily or discovering too late that the deceased was entitled to be dressed in sacred clothing and no arrangements were made.

Contact the ward clerk within the first day to confirm endowment status. If the deceased was endowed, immediately coordinate with the Relief Society president (for women) or Elders Quorum president (for men) to assign a dressing team. If they were not endowed, the family chooses modest everyday clothing.

Sending Prohibited Items to the Family or Meetinghouse

Latter-day Saints follow the Word of Wisdom health code. Sending alcohol, coffee, black tea, or tobacco products as sympathy gifts is a significant cultural misstep. Well-meaning non-member friends and colleagues make this mistake regularly.

Safe alternatives: floral arrangements (without cross symbols, which are not part of LDS tradition), homemade meals that reheat easily, sympathy cards, and memorial donations to the Church's Humanitarian Aid Fund or a charity the family designates.

Skipping the Bishop Entirely

Some families, especially those who are less active or who have strained relationships with Church leadership, try to plan the funeral entirely through the funeral home and skip the bishop. This works if the service is held at the funeral home or a non-Church venue. It does not work if the family wants to use the meetinghouse — the bishop controls building access and must preside over any service held there.

Even at a funeral home, inviting the bishop to participate is worth considering. The presiding priesthood leader can offer the graveside dedication, and the ward's Relief Society can still organize a meal for the family. These are free resources that do not require the family to cede full control of the program.

Avoiding These Problems

Every one of these mistakes is preventable with early communication and a clear understanding of what the handbook actually says. The Mormon / LDS Funeral Guide lays out every rule in plain language, includes a bishop coordination worksheet with the exact questions to ask during the planning meeting, and provides a printable program template that ensures nothing falls outside the guidelines.