Eulogy vs Obituary — What's the Difference and Who Writes Each One

The Core Difference

A eulogy is a speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service. An obituary is a written notice published in a newspaper, online platform, or funeral home website. They serve different audiences, follow different formats, and are usually written by different people.

The confusion is understandable — both honor someone who has died, and both contain biographical details. But they diverge in almost every practical way.

Purpose

A eulogy exists to celebrate who someone was. It tells stories, captures personality, and gives mourners a shared emotional experience. The audience is the people in the room.

An obituary exists to inform. It announces the death, provides biographical facts, lists survivors, and gives service details — date, time, location, whether flowers or donations are preferred. The audience is the wider community: former colleagues, distant relatives, old neighbors who might not otherwise hear the news.

Who Writes Each One

Eulogies are typically written by someone close to the deceased — a child, spouse, sibling, close friend, or sometimes a member of the clergy. There are no rules about who delivers it, and some families have multiple people speak. The writer is almost always the speaker.

Obituaries are written by the family (often the executor or a designated family member) and submitted to a newspaper or online service. Some funeral homes draft obituaries as part of their service package. The writer is rarely the person who delivers the eulogy, though there's nothing stopping one person from doing both.

Format and Length

Eulogies run 3 to 5 minutes when delivered aloud, which works out to roughly 420–700 words at a natural speaking pace of about 140 words per minute. They follow a loose narrative arc — an opening that draws people in, two or three stories or themes from the person's life, and a closing that ties it together. There's no required structure, though the best ones follow a framework rather than free-associating.

Obituaries follow a more rigid format:

• Full legal name (including maiden name)
• Date and place of birth
• Date, place, and sometimes cause of death
• Key life milestones — education, career, marriage, military service
• List of survivors and predeceased family members
• Service details — visitation, funeral, burial, and livestream information
• Charitable donation preferences in lieu of flowers

Newspaper obituaries are typically 200–400 words. Online obituaries can run longer because there's no per-line charge.

Cost

Eulogies cost nothing to deliver. The emotional labor is enormous, but nobody invoices you for podium time.

Obituaries cost money when published in print. A traditional print obituary can cost roughly $300–$800 or more, while a short print notice may cost about $50–$100. Rates vary by publication and may include line or word charges and separate photo placement fees. Running the same obituary in multiple papers multiplies the cost.

Online-only obituaries on sites like Legacy.com or the funeral home's own page are often included with the funeral home's service package or available free on community memorial sites.

Timing

The obituary often comes first so it can announce the service to the wider community. If you want it published before the funeral, ask the newspaper or online service for its submission deadline and expected publication date; schedules differ by outlet.

The eulogy is delivered at the service itself, typically 3 to 7 days after the death. The writer has a few more days to prepare, though it rarely feels like enough time.

Tone

Obituaries tend toward the formal. Even warm, personality-filled obituaries maintain a certain structure — they read like a biographical record because that's what they are.

Eulogies are personal. Humor, inside references, direct address to the deceased, pauses for emotion — all normal. The best eulogies read nothing like obituaries. They sound like a person talking about someone they loved.

Can One Replace the Other?

No. Publishing an obituary doesn't eliminate the need for a eulogy, and delivering a eulogy doesn't inform the wider community that someone has died.

Some families skip the eulogy (particularly in certain religious traditions where the clergy handles the service). Some families skip the printed obituary (increasingly common as costs rise and social media fills the announcement role). But the two serve such different functions that neither substitutes for the other.

Writing Both

If you're responsible for both the obituary and the eulogy, start with the obituary. It forces you to confirm the biographical facts — dates, spelling of names, order of survivors — that you'll also need for the eulogy. The research overlaps, but the writing doesn't.

For the obituary, work from a checklist of required elements and write it like a news article — facts first, personal color second.

For the eulogy, work from stories. The Eulogy Writing System walks you through a framework for collecting memories, structuring a speech around 2–3 themes, timing your delivery, and preparing a backup reader in case your emotions take over at the podium.