Who Writes the Obituary? Family, Funeral Home, and Professional Options

There's No Legal Requirement for Who Writes It

There is no general rule naming one person as the obituary's author. In practice, the family member coordinating the notice or the funeral home often drafts it. A newspaper or memorial site's submission rules may specify who can authorize a particular publication.

Being named executor gives a person responsibility for estate administration, but does not by itself grant exclusive control over every family memorial. Authority to control disposition of remains and funeral arrangements is separate and varies by state; Wisconsin and California, for example, use different priority rules. Those rules do not create one nationwide hierarchy for who writes an obituary.

Several relatives may want to contribute. When that happens, the practical solution is usually for one person to draft and circulate it for review, with a firm deadline for feedback.

Option 1: Write It Yourself

Most obituaries are written by a family member. It's the most personal option, it's free, and nobody knows the deceased better than the people who loved them.

When it works well: The family is in general agreement about what should be said. One person has the emotional bandwidth to draft it. The family situation is relatively straightforward — no major estrangements, blended family complexities, or sensitive cause of death.

When it's hard: Grief disrupts working memory and decision-making. Writing under a newspaper deadline while managing funeral logistics and fielding calls from relatives is genuinely overwhelming. The result is often a draft that either says too little (because the writer froze) or too much (because they couldn't decide what to cut).

Cost: Free, though the print publication itself costs money. Regional or local papers can cost $100-$500 and major metropolitan dailies $400-$2,000+, depending on length and add-ons.

Practical tip: Don't try to write from scratch while exhausted. Use a fill-in template to separate information gathering from creative writing. Collect the facts first (names, dates, career, hobbies, survivor list), then shape the narrative once the raw material is in front of you.

Option 2: Let the Funeral Home Do It

Most funeral homes offer obituary writing as part of their service package, either included in the overall fee or as a line item. The funeral director collects biographical information from the family using a standard intake form and produces a draft.

When it works well: The family is too overwhelmed to write anything. The deceased's life story is relatively straightforward. The family just needs a competent, professional notice submitted on time.

When it falls short: Funeral home obituaries tend to be formulaic. They follow a rigid template and rarely capture personality, humor, or the specific details that make an obituary feel like a real tribute. The director didn't know the deceased — they're writing from a form, not from memory.

Cost: Obituary-writing help may be included in the funeral home's package or charged separately. The FTC Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to provide an itemized General Price List for funeral goods and services; ask whether obituary assistance is included or has a separate fee.

Watch out for: Some funeral homes automatically submit the obituary to Legacy.com or similar platforms that charge the family for additional features (premium guest books, extended hosting). Ask where the obituary will be published and whether there are any additional third-party charges.

Option 3: Hire a Professional Obituary Writer

Professional obituary writers and scribes are a niche service. Their process, interview length, and turnaround time differ, so ask what is included before booking.

When it works well: The family wants a high-quality, personalized tribute but doesn't have the emotional capacity to write it. Complex family situations — blended families, estrangements, sensitive causes of death — benefit from a neutral third-party writer who can navigate the politics.

When it's unnecessary: A straightforward obituary for a simple family situation doesn't require a professional. A good template and 30 minutes of focused writing will produce a perfectly adequate notice.

Cost: Fees depend on the writer, scope, and turnaround time. Request a written quote and confirm whether revisions are included. This is on top of newspaper publication costs.

Where to find them: Search "obituary writing service" plus your city, or check Etsy and freelance platforms. Some hospice programs and bereavement support organizations offer this service at reduced rates.

Which Option Is Right for Your Situation?

Write it yourself if you have at least one family member who can gather the facts and draft a narrative before the newspaper's submission cutoff. Some papers require finalized copy up to 72 hours before the service, so confirm the deadline with the publication.

Use the funeral home if you need the simplest possible path and don't mind a formulaic result. It gets the job done.

Hire a professional if the family situation is complex (multiple marriages, estrangements, sensitive cause of death), you want a polished tribute, and the cost isn't a barrier.

Use a structured toolkit if you want to write it yourself but need guidance beyond a blank page. The obituary writing toolkit gives you fill-in templates, a security checklist, newspaper cost estimation worksheets, and specialized sections for blended families and sensitive situations — the structure a professional would bring, at a fraction of the cost.