In Lieu of Flowers Donation Wording

The obituary deadline is in two hours, the funeral home needs the "in lieu of flowers" line now, and you are staring at a blank field trying to figure out the right phrasing.

Here are exact sentences you can use, followed by the context that makes each version appropriate.

Ready-to-Use Wording

Standard charitable donation: "In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests memorial contributions to [Organization Name], [Address or URL]."

Church memorial fund: "Memorial gifts may be directed to the [Name] Memorial Fund at [Church Name], [Church Address]. The family respectfully requests these in place of floral arrangements."

Multiple options: "In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [Organization A] or [Organization B]. Both causes were close to [First Name]'s heart."

When the family is open to either: "Flowers are welcome, and those who prefer may make a memorial donation to [Organization Name]."

When a scholarship or specific fund is being established: "The family is establishing the [Name] Memorial Scholarship at [Institution]. Contributions in lieu of flowers may be sent to [Address or URL]."

Why Mainline Protestant Families Choose Donations

Standing floral sprays cost $150 to $350 each, and a well-attended funeral can generate thousands of dollars in arrangements that last less than a week. Many families — particularly those in mainline Protestant congregations where stewardship and charitable giving are core values — prefer to redirect that money toward something lasting.

Common beneficiaries include the church's general fund, a named memorial fund (for music ministry, youth programs, or building maintenance), hospice organizations, disease-specific research charities, or a cause the deceased championed.

Flower Rules in Mainline Protestant Churches

Even when the family does not request "in lieu of flowers," the sanctuary itself has rules:

• Episcopal churches: Flowers are generally removed from the casket before the processional into the sanctuary. The casket is covered with a white funeral pall, and the sanctuary displays only the church's own altar flowers (or the family's provided altar arrangements approved by the rector). Standing sprays and personal casket pieces return to the casket after it exits the church.
• Lutheran churches (ELCA): Similar to Episcopal — the pall covers the casket inside the sanctuary. Floral displays are typically placed in the narthex or at the funeral home, not around the altar.
• Presbyterian churches: Vary by congregation. Some follow the pall tradition strictly; others allow modest floral arrangements near the casket. Ask the church office.
• Methodist churches: Generally the most flexible. Many UMC congregations allow floral displays in the sanctuary, but the pastor will confirm what is appropriate for that specific space.

In every denomination, ask the church office before ordering flowers for the sanctuary. What the funeral home permits and what the church permits are often different.

When Flowers Are Still the Right Choice

Not every funeral requests donations. If the obituary does not contain "in lieu of flowers" language, standard sympathy flowers are always appropriate. Common choices for mainline Protestant funerals:

• White lilies, roses, or chrysanthemums for the service
• A standing spray or wreath for display at the funeral home
• A smaller sympathy arrangement delivered to the family's home after the service

If you are attending and the obituary is ambiguous, a modest sympathy arrangement sent to the home — rather than the church — avoids any sanctuary flower restrictions entirely.

For a complete guide to managing floral tributes, memorial donations, and all the other etiquette questions that come up during funeral planning, the Protestant Mainline Funeral Guide covers the specific rules for all five major mainline denominations.