Parastas 40 Days Romanian Orthodox

Why the 40-Day Memorial Is the Most Important One

In Romanian Orthodox theology, the soul undergoes a specific journey after death. It stays near the body for two days, ascends to heaven on the third (the day of burial), is shown the beauty of Paradise from days three through nine, and then is shown the torments of hell from days nine through forty. On the fortieth day, the soul stands before Christ for its Particular Judgment — the ruling that determines where it will dwell until the General Resurrection.

This is why the 40-day parastas carries more weight than any other memorial except the funeral itself. The prayers offered on this day are believed to directly influence the outcome of the soul's judgment. Missing it — or performing it carelessly — is considered a serious failing by the family.

What You Need to Prepare

The 40-day parastas requires the same liturgical elements as the funeral memorial, but families often underestimate the preparation involved because six weeks have passed and the initial crisis energy has faded.

For the church service:

• Fresh coliva (sweetened boiled wheat) — must be made that morning, not in advance
• Colaci (round braided bread) — the circular shape represents eternity
• Candles — typically a large toiag (coiled beeswax candle) plus smaller tapers for attendees
• Red wine for the apaos pouring
• A pomelnic (prayer list) with the deceased's name, submitted in advance for the liturgy

For the pomana (memorial meal):

• A full meal served to family, community members, and the poor after the church service
• Traditional dishes vary by region, but typically include ciorbă (sour soup), sarmale (cabbage rolls), bread, and a dessert
• Parastas packages — bundles of food and household items distributed as alms

What Goes in a Parastas Package

The parastas package (also called pomana de suflet) is distributed to neighbors, community members, and especially the poor at the conclusion of the memorial service. Its contents serve as alms credited to the deceased's soul.

A package commonly includes:

• A colac (braided bread) or a portion of bread
• Cheese or another food item
• A candle
• A small bottle of wine or juice
• A packet of sugar or sweets
• A piece of fruit (usually an apple or orange)
• A small towel or handkerchief
• A piece of clothing or another household item, such as soap or fabric

The towels and handkerchiefs are particularly important in Romanian tradition — they represent "bridges" (punți) that the soul must cross on its journey. The number and quality of items in the package varies by family means and regional custom, but the principle is consistent: every item given in charity earns spiritual merit for the deceased.

For diaspora families working with non-Romanian grocery stores, use locally available equivalents for the food, clothing, and household items; the exact brands and quantities vary by family and region. The spiritual weight is in the act of giving, not the brand of soap.

Scheduling Around Prohibited Days

The Church calendar restricts when parastase can be held. The fortieth-day date is calculated from the date of death; if it falls on a prohibited date, consult the priest, who will set the service on another permitted date.

Days when parastas is prohibited:

• Sundays (the day of Resurrection — memorial services are not held on days of liturgical joy)
• The twelve days between Christmas and Epiphany
• Bright Week (Easter Sunday through Thomas Sunday)
• From Meatfare Saturday to the first Saturday of Great Lent
• From Saturday of Lazarus through Thomas Sunday
• Major Royal Feasts (Praznice Împărătești)
• Weekdays of Great Lent (when full Divine Liturgies are not celebrated)

When your fortieth day lands on one of these, consult the priest immediately. The priest will determine the permitted date and any required adjustment to the service.

The Sărindar Release

If the family established a Sărindar at the time of death — submitting the deceased's name for commemoration during forty consecutive Divine Liturgies — the fortieth liturgy coincides roughly with the 40-day mark. A special service called the dezlegarea sărindarelor (release of the sarindars) is celebrated, formally releasing the soul from the weight of unconfessed sins.

If the Sărindar wasn't started on the day of death, ask the priest whether it can still be arranged and how its forty-liturgical-day count should be scheduled.

The Eastern Orthodox Funeral — Romanian guide includes a memorial calendar worksheet that automatically flags prohibited days for your specific dates, plus a complete parastas preparation checklist with regional variations for package contents across Transylvania, Moldova, and Oltenia.