Questions to Ask a Funeral Director and Parish Priest in the Philippines

Questions for the Funeral Director

Filipino funeral homes operate under intense time pressure. The family is grieving, preservation and documentation need prompt attention, and the sales conversation happens before anyone has slept. This is exactly the environment where unnecessary upgrades get sold and important details get missed.

Before signing any contract, ask these questions in order:

What exactly is included in this package? Get a written itemized list — not a brochure summary. You need to know: which casket model, how many days of chapel viewing, whether embalming is included or billed separately, whether the hearse is included for the burial day, whether documentation support (death certificate filing, burial permit processing) is part of the service, and how many flower arrangements are provided.

What is NOT included? This question reveals the real cost. Check specifically whether the package excludes the cemetery plot or columbarium niche, church services, food and hospitality for wake visitors, extended chapel days, police escorts, flowers, or inter-city or inter-island transport of remains; packages differ.

What happens if we need to extend the wake? Many families wait for OFW relatives to fly home, stretching the lamay from four days to seven or more. Ask the per-day cost of extending the chapel rental and whether additional embalming maintenance is required after day five.

Do you handle the burial permit and transit permit? If the burial is in a different municipality from where the death occurred, a transit permit from the City or Municipal Health Office is required. Some funeral homes handle this as part of their documentation service; others leave it to the family entirely.

Can we see the actual casket, not just the catalog photo? Catalog photos are styled with professional lighting and premium accessories. The display room shows the actual build quality. Compare handles, interior lining, glass panel thickness, and seal quality in person.

What is your refund or cancellation policy? If the family switches funeral homes or changes from burial to cremation after signing, what portion of the deposit is refundable? Get this in writing before any money changes hands.

Questions for the Parish Priest

The Requiem Mass is the liturgical center of a Filipino Catholic funeral. The priest controls the format, the permitted readings, and the boundaries of what can happen inside the church. Contact the parish early, rather than waiting until the night before.

Is a eulogy permitted during the Mass? Some parishes allow a eulogy after Communion. Others restrict it to a brief "words of remembrance" from one designated family member. A few prohibit it entirely and direct families to deliver eulogies at the wake or graveside instead.

Can we choose the hymns and readings? Ask which readings and hymns the parish permits. If the family has a specific passage or contemporary selection they want included, get approval in advance.

Will the priest lead the graveside blessing, and what is the stipend? Not all parish priests attend the burial. If the family wants the priest present at the cemetery for the final commendation and blessing, confirm availability and ask about the customary donation or stipend.

Does the parish offer a lay minister or prayer leader for the pasiyam? The nine-night novena prayers are traditionally led by a community elder (magdarasal), but some parishes provide trained lay ministers who can lead the rosary and Litany for the Faithful Departed each evening.

What is the church's position on folk customs during the Mass? Some families want to perform the rosary-breaking or the child-passing ritual inside the church after the Mass. Ask the priest where, if anywhere, the family may perform them; parish rules govern what is permitted inside the church and at the cemetery. Clarify this early to avoid a confrontation on burial day.

Are there scheduling constraints? Popular parishes in Metro Manila and provincial capitals may have multiple funeral Masses scheduled on the same day. Confirm your time slot, and ask about backup dates in case of scheduling conflicts.

How the Complete Guide Helps

The Filipino Traditional Funeral Guide includes a pre-formatted list of questions for both the funeral director and the parish priest, plus a vendor comparison worksheet that lets you evaluate two or three funeral home quotes side by side. It takes the guesswork out of the two most important conversations of the entire planning process.