Wiping of Tears Ceremony

Wiping of Tears is a name used for particular condolence or mourning practices, including in Haudenosaunee and Lakota contexts; it is not a single pan-Indigenous ceremony. Where a community uses the term, the ceremony may mark a transition out of mourning, with its meaning and timing set by local teachings.

What the Ceremony Accomplishes

In the Haudenosaunee condolence tradition described here, the imagery of clearing the eyes, throat, and ears expresses restoration after grief. Other communities may understand wiping or condolence practices differently; do not treat the imagery as a universal Indigenous belief.

The Wiping of Tears ceremony can express that restoration. One well-documented Haudenosaunee example is the Condolence Ceremony under the Great Law of Peace, in which the "clear-minded" moiety (the side of the Confederacy not in mourning) addresses the "downcast" grieving moiety using a formal sequence tied to wampum strings. Purple and white shell beads are presented in series, each string corresponding to a specific act of restoration:

• Wiping tears from the eyes so the mourner can see the beauty of the world again
• Clearing the obstruction from the throat so the mourner can speak and eat
• Removing the blockage from the ears so the mourner can hear the voices of the living

These are called the "Three Rare Words" — rare because they carry weight that ordinary language cannot. The strings are held by the grieving family until the next condolence ceremony, when they pass back to the clear-minded side, maintaining a cycle of reciprocal care that predates European contact by centuries.

When It Happens

The timing varies by Nation and community. In Haudenosaunee practice, a full Condolence Ceremony can be associated with the death of a chief or clan mother, and its political dimensions (the "requickening" of a vacated title) may be as significant as its grief dimensions. Other families and communities may observe different condolence or release practices; do not assume a tenth-day ceremony or a single schedule.

Some Cree and Ojibwe communities may mark release at a one-year memorial, but this is a related local practice, not necessarily the Wiping of Tears ceremony. Mourning restrictions and their end point vary by family and community.

In Lakota tradition, the Wanagi Wicagluha is described as a Wiping of Tears ceremony associated with the end of a mourning period. Timing and details vary; do not assume a hair bundle or one-year schedule without local guidance.

Some communities recognize a formal endpoint to mourning, but there is no single cross-Nation timeline or ceremony.

What It Looks Like in Practice

A contemporary ceremony using the Wiping of Tears name might include the following, but the order, objects, and words are local:

The family may gather with an Elder and close community members, sometimes at the same location where the funeral or wake was held. Food may be prepared according to local custom.

An Elder may speak to the family, acknowledge the weight they have carried, or lead a local cleansing or wiping practice. Do not assume a particular medicine, feather, or bundle is part of the ceremony.

In some traditions, the deceased's name or photographs may be handled in a particular way during mourning and release. Whether the name is spoken, photographs are restored, or restrictions end at this ceremony depends on local teaching.

After the ceremony, a feast, laughter, or storytelling may mark a return to community life. The family and community determine what the release means.

Why It Matters Beyond Tradition

For families whose community uses a defined release ceremony, it can provide a structured marker in the community's calendar — with the timing, words, and authority set locally.

For families navigating grief after losing someone, a local release practice may provide permission to re-enter community life while continuing to remember the deceased.

Our First Nations Canadian Funeral Guide walks through the complete mourning timeline from the moment of death through the one-year memorial, including the giveaway, the mourning restrictions, and the protocols for formally ending the mourning period.