Koha Etiquette at a Tangi: How Much to Give and How to Present It

Koha at a tangi is not a sympathy card with cash tucked inside. It is a formal, reciprocal act embedded in the pōwhiri (welcome ceremony), governed by specific protocols about how the money is prepared, who presents it, and how it physically changes hands. Getting this right is straightforward — but the process is unfamiliar enough that first-time attendees often worry about making a mistake.

How Much Koha to Give

There is no fixed amount. Koha is unconditional — the word literally means "gift" — and the expectation adjusts to your relationship and means. Practical guidance:

• Individual attending alone: $20–$50 is common for a colleague or community member
• Couple or small family: $50–$100
• Visiting delegation (workplace, sports club, church group): Pool your donations — a single envelope from the group, often $200–$500+
• Close whānau: Whatever you can give. Close family often contribute substantially because they understand the scale of costs involved

The context matters more than the number. Hosting a tangihanga costs the whānau pani thousands — marae hire, catering for hundreds of guests over multiple days, casket, transport, and burial. Koha helps offset this, and any amount is received with gratitude. Do not apologise for the amount or draw attention to it.

How to Present Koha

This is where the protocol is specific. The koha follows the formal pōwhiri, not a casual handoff:

1. Prepare your koha in advance. Place cash inside a sealed envelope before arriving at the marae. Some elders place a gold coin in with the notes to add physical weight so the envelope does not blow away when placed on the ground outside.

2. During the pōwhiri, the last speaker from your visiting group delivers their whaikōrero (formal speech). As their supporters sing a waiata tautoko (song of support), the speaker walks slowly onto the marae ātea — the open courtyard between the host and guest groups.

3. The speaker places the envelope on the ground, then walks backward to their seat. Walking backward shows respect — you never turn your back on the host's paepae (orator's bench).

4. A designated male representative from the hosts walks forward, picks up the envelope, and returns it to the hosts' bench. A female host may acknowledge the koha with a brief, grateful karanga.

That is the entire sequence. The envelope goes on the ground; it is picked up by a host. It does not pass from hand to hand.

What Never to Do

• Never hand money directly to a family member or marae worker. This turns the koha from a formal cultural exchange into a casual transaction, which is considered offensive.
• Never treat koha as payment for accommodation or food. It is a gift of support, not a hotel bill.
• Never present koha outside the pōwhiri sequence — not during a break, not at the dining table, not when leaving. If you miss the pōwhiri, give your envelope to your group's leader to present at the next formal session.

What About Flowers and Cards?

Flowers and wreaths are welcome at a tangihanga, but they sit outside the formal koha protocol. They are typically placed near the casket or at the entrance to the wharenui. The most culturally resonant option is kawakawa — the native plant strongly associated with mourning and healing in Māori tradition. Wreaths of green kawakawa leaves (parekawakawa) are traditionally worn by the whānau pani and female elders.

Condolence cards are appreciated, especially if written with genuine personal connection. Cards incorporating te reo Māori phrases carry particular warmth:

• Kia kaha — be strong
• Moe mai rā — rest in peace (literally "sleep on")
• Arohanui ki a koutou — much love to you all

A card is personal; koha is communal. Both are welcome, but koha is the one with protocol attached.

If You Are Organising the Koha for a Group

If you are coordinating a workplace or community delegation, your job is to:

• Collect contributions in advance and consolidate into one envelope
• Identify who will deliver the whaikōrero for your group (this person also presents the koha)
• Ensure your speaker understands the placement protocol
• If your group does not have a speaker comfortable with formal whaikōrero, speak to the host marae in advance — they can advise on how your group can present koha under their local kawa

The Māori Tangihanga Guide includes a complete attendee briefing sheet — covering koha, pōwhiri protocol, sleeping arrangements, and the specific do's and don'ts for every stage of the tangihanga — that you can share with your group before arriving.